Directionally Accurate

A blog about whatever piques my curiosity… my thoughts might not be exactly correct, but they're likely "directionally accurate"

On Saying Goodbye (for now) to Travel

Reverse culture shock is a term I first heard before studying abroad in Australia. The shock not of experiencing a new place, but of inevitably returning home. The unexpected feeling that going back to a place you know can be as much, or more, of a shock than traveling somewhere new.

For me, travel is usually too exciting to feel culture shock. Everything is new and there’s too much to take in to feel anything other than awe at whatever new place and culture I find myself in. Travel scratches a particular itch in my brain. Maybe the wanderer gene is a real thing. I have felt overwhelmed and stressed while traveling, but I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced true culture shock. Maybe that only comes with actually living in a place day to day or maybe I haven’t ventured far enough out yet.

I have experienced reverse culture shock on a few instances. Coming back from studying abroad, returning from a three month internship in Hong Kong, and getting back into normalcy after a monthlong mental health leave of absence in Switzerland. I may have the most dramatic dose of reverse culture shock headed my way shortly.

My bouts of reverse culture shock may largely stem from going from “fake life,” back to “real life.” I don’t really think these episodes of “fake life,” are actually fake. They are important and very real short periods of my life. Periods that have been incredibly influential in shaping who I am. I don’t see the need to stop having them in one shape or form just because they are historically unconventional in the US.

The other source of reverse culture shock comes from returning to your friends and family having just experienced something without them. Despite inundating everyone I know with Instagram posts and stories, and the end of the day I’ve had this formative experience alone. Stories are fun, but they can’t capture the whole journey and what it was like in the moment.

I am not a complete believer in Chris McCandless’ quote, “happiness is only real when shared,” but memories are obviously much more powerful when shared.

The other realization is that even your closest loved ones don’t care nearly as much about the experience as you do. They can’t. No matter how well intentioned and interested, they didn’t live them. There is a fine line between engaged storytelling and oversharing on something that others weren’t a part of. There are so many instances of “you should have seen it in person,” which even when meant genuinely can come off a touch obnoxious. I will try to avoid that when talking about my experience.

This period of world travel is coming to an end, but that doesn’t mean the real me is giving that part of me up. At some point soon my days will look very different than they have over the past seven months. I will return to a routine, spend many hours at a desk, get back to learning and accumulating knowledge, and start the next chapter of my career.

So while it likely won’t be long form travel anytime soon I will never stop traveling. I want to see the world.

One of the most deeply unsettling feelings I have is the knowledge that I won’t be able to experience and see all that I want to in the world. I am not sure if that is unique, but I feel uncomfortable knowing I won’t be able to have all the adventures I want to. It’s to the point that thinking about it makes me anxious. I am probably just unsettled that I have no control over the passing of time. Normal…

Given finite time and infinite experiences, I still want to maximize these journeys in whatever life situation I find myself in over the next year, five years, and hopefully many more after that. The working world isn’t conventionally set up for it, but I feel deeply that careers should include dedicated time off throughout rather than a slow march towards a future retirement.

I try not to live with regrets, but I think my growth trajectory, maturity, and knowledge of myself would be far greater today had I taken a gap year before college and a gap year before starting my career. I think those paths should be celebrated and encouraged. Time is the only currency that really matters.

I am at a crossroads right now, torn in very different directions. I don’t feel “done” with traveling, but I am also increasingly drawn to a more established and settled life. I want an apartment, my own bed, a daily routine, a city to call my next home, to start the next chapter of my career. I might even want to go on a date.

Yet every time I’ve had the time and flexibility to travel I’ve always wished I did more. Inevitably the feeling of wishing I could go back to free time sets in. It will again. It’s vacation nostalgia with leverage. I don’t think full time travel would suit me (at least until I win the lottery), but I am not in the least bit sick of traveling after seven months. I am excited to go home and see friends and family, but I’m sad to leave the travel life behind for now.

There is so much in the world that I haven’t seen. Haven’t experienced. Haven’t felt.

With zero effort I could think of twenty places I’d love to spend a month. I’ve never been to Africa, never seen the Amazon, never island hopped in the Philippines, Thailand, or Indonesia. I’ve never been to Japan, India, or Germany. Never rode horses in Kyrgyzstan, or camels in the desert. Never seen the northern lights in Lapland or the endless sunlight in Lofoten. Never ate my way through Turkey or Georgia, drank a Czech pils at its source, or swam with whales in French Polynesia.

I am so thankful for the incredible travel I’ve been privileged to have experienced, but there is so much more out there.

For anyone that reads this and has followed along this journey I hope it’s been entertaining. I hope you’ve enjoyed living vicariously through me. I hope you’ve enjoyed seeing some of the most beautiful places in the world, if only through a phone. I hope it’s provided some laughs and a respite from whatever is stressful in your life lately. I hope you have a deeper appreciation for the beauty of the world and being out in nature.

Above all, I hope it inspires you for whatever journey you feel in your heart you need to take.

Whatever that looks like for you, I hope I’ve provided inspiration to go out and do something you’ve been wanting to do. Life is short and nothing is promised. You don’t have to quit your job to maximize the little moments of wonder and awe. That’s all this really has been. A long and eventful compilation of little moments.

My current plan is to spend the last week of the year thinking about how I want to start 2025. I certainly need some time to process everything I’ve just experienced.

I may take one final sabbatical trip early next year or start preparing for my next chapter. I have already sketched out a couple months worth of a learning “curriculum,” that I would like to dive into in my free time either before or alongside my job search. I am almost as excited about having the time to simply learn as I was to travel. Almost.

I am not expecting my job search to be an easy one, but it’s an exciting challenge. I would love to be fortunate enough to end up at my next landing place for a decade-plus again. That may not ultimately happen and that’s OK too.I am expecting a lot of “no’s.” That thought is a bit demoralizing, but this is what I want to pursue. It may be five rejections, it may be twenty, it may be fifty. I may be on the job search for a month, six months, or a year. I am sure there will be times ahead where I’ll feel hopeless or like a failure.

I hope I’ve learned enough from this traveling to be comfortable being uncomfortable. To know that growth doesn’t come easy. To know that things will work out in the end even if the path is bumpy. It’ll all make sense in the end.

We’ll see where this next road takes me…

December 2024

Somewhere over the Pacific

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